Dr. Paranoia is in the House  

I really think the people at WebMD could step it up a notch and program a feature that, after some schmuck searches the symptom checker on weekly basis from the same IP address, a full screen pop-up is activated that flashes the following message in bright red letters:

You are suffering from a very common condition called

The only known treatment for which is to stop eating like a trucker with a tapeworm,
spend less time lying awake at night feeling your pulse,
and more time actually exercising.

I think they would really be doing a great service to us hypochondriacs of the information age out there. Although I suppose the giant flashy letters can be optional, just in case it turns out they really did have epilepsy or something.

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