This is Why Guys Just Punch Each Other  

Conversation (in progress) that happened behind me during this morning's bus ride, re-told as best as my memory will allow:

Girl #1: ...so I looked her right in the eye and said "You have made a very powerful enemy today."

Girl #2: I'm the same way about my shampoo. I once had a roommate who refused to buy her own, so I bought a brand new bottle, dumped out half and then filled it back up with my pee.

Girl #1: No you did not!

Girl #2: I think you know me well enough to know that I did.

Girl #1: Yeah, OK. But peeing into $30 face cream seems a bit heinous, doesn't it? Besides, it would get all runny and she'd know that something's up.

Girl #2: Well you can swap out the expensive stuff for something cheaper, and it doesn't have to be your pee that you mix it with.

Girl #1: I am not putting my poo in it.

Girl #2: What? Oh my God no! That's not what I meant at all.

Girl #1: Then what should I use?

Girl #2: Crisco. Her pores won't know what hit them.

Girl #1: That is horrible. It's perfect!

Girl #2: Plus it will fry her skin if she spends too much time out in the sun!

Girl #1: *makes sizzling sounds* Does anybody else smell fried chicken?!

*Mutual laughter ensues, which is borderline maniacal*

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