The Thin Line Between Geek and Mass Murderer  

Last night was great, as I had the opportunity to watch an advance screening of the new Harry Potter movie. Granted it was only 6 hours in advance of the rest of the country, but it was certainly better than staying up until midnight for the first official showing, only to end up sitting in the front row next to a chunky 13 year old using a Slim Jim to try and cast the Impedimenta charm on his acne.

Throughout the movie and the remainder of the evening, I was stuck on the idea of what exactly it takes to bring out the awkward little geek in all of us. While I admittedly have an appreciation for the Harry Potter storyline, it's not likely to ever bring me to the point of experimenting with cosplay, writing my own fanfic (I'll have you know that my "Hermione, the Centaur, and the Night Which Shall Not be Named" story was a purely artistic pursuit), or attending anything that ends in "Con."

When it comes to pop culture obsessions, even though many of us will get a raging geek boner over the same thing, it's almost certainly for personal reasons that are to some degree slightly different than everyone elses. Take for example the resurgence in low-budget vampire tales like Twilight and True Blood, both of which have been trending very high in the ages 4 through 97 female demographic. There's obviously a romantic element to these stories that captivates minds everywhere, but while some find it so appealing due to the religious undercurrents of the story, others are simply turned on at the idea of being brutally murdered by someone with a sexy British accent. Trust me, I can relate.

As for me, my geek palate tolerates a fairly wide spectrum of fantasy worlds and unlikely scenarios. I've found myself wrapped up in tales of Middle Earth, only to have them infiltrated by transforming robots and mutants in need of some serious therapy. But no matter how preoccupied I become with random flights of geekery, I've always circled back to one thing, what is essentially the tree of giving when it comes to awesomeness -- the undead. I'm a complete whore for zombie movies, books, and assorted paraphernalia. I've seen Army of Darkness, Braindead (aka Dead Alive), and Return of the Living Dead more times than I can remember. I once spent an entire day with my sub-par set of Photoshop skills going through multiple revisions just to see what I would look like in zombie form:

It's a wildly pathetic obsession when you think about it, not to mention the fact I'm pretty sure it's one of the top 5 precursors of being a serial killer. But that's sort of what geeky is all about, right? The weird-ass love you have for this thing -- whatever it is -- resonates on some level with the one part of your brain that really prefers it when things don't make much sense at all. Man whore vampires that always know the perfect thing to say and vapid big-chested girls mowing down a nursing home full of reanimated geriatric corpses are but a wonderfully sweet cherry on top.

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11 Reasons to Live

  • hotpants™  
    July 15, 2009 at 12:46 PM

    I was way behind on the Potter craze. I didn't start reading Book 1 until Book 7 came out. I eventually read them all. I've seen all of the movies. This will be my first time seeing one in a theatre so I'm a little geeked out.

  • ZenMom  
    July 15, 2009 at 12:48 PM

    This is my new favorite quote of the ... ever.

    "The weird-ass love you have for this thing -- whatever it is -- resonates on some level with the one part of your brain that really prefers it when things don't make much sense at all."

  • shine  
    July 15, 2009 at 1:16 PM

    First of all, that picture? AWESOME. Better than awesome. Can you please make one for me?

    Second, Zombies are by far the best of...all the stuff. I already loved dead stuff, but dead stuff that walks around and tries to eat people? Sign me up! I even sat through all of Planet Terror because the zombies were so awesomely oozy. (Seriously, though, if Rose McGowan can't shoot that gun with her hands, she sure as hell can't shoot it with her leg. Also, I wanted to see her try a whole lot more...)

    Third, why are you taunting me with the peepgina on your Guidespot again? I thought we had talked about that.

  • Jules  
    July 15, 2009 at 3:31 PM

    I'm a total geek! I play Sims 3, LOVE Harry Potter, LOVE Twilight, LOVE The Tudors, LOVE Big I need to go on?

  • James  
    July 15, 2009 at 10:00 PM

    Holy crap, I didn't know you had a Peep Guide. I dabbled in some Peep destruction this past Easter. Here's the photographic evidence.

  • The Grunt  
    July 16, 2009 at 9:38 AM

    I get my geek on via Sasquatch. I think this has something to do with the polygamous inbreeding of my ancestors.

  • Ryan  
    July 16, 2009 at 11:12 AM

    I enjoy anything with Werewolves. Also I never missed an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and was highly upset when it went off the air.

    Fuck you.

  • Jay Ferris  
    July 16, 2009 at 12:29 PM

    firepants - I pretty much did the same thing, and almost wish I waited to watch all of the movies before doing so. Then at least by level of enjoyment would have been on a continuously upward curve.

    ZenMom - I think that makes you my new favoritest commenter ever!

    Shiner - I think it would actually take less time for you to just go and get bitten by a zombie. Plus there's the side benefit of immortality.

    Jules - Maybe you can answer this then; is it normal that I only like to impose a God-like wrath on my characters when I play The Sims?

    James - Very cool! But whatever you do, heed Shine's advice and steer clear of the dreaded peepgina.

    Grunt - I feel the same way about zombie Chewbacca.

    Ryan - I see nothing wrong with enjoying the occasional teen drama about hot young girls killing things. It's the American way really.

  • John Smith  
    July 16, 2009 at 12:51 PM

    Zombie movies are too much like actual life. It already seems like night of the living dead out there. I got a huge laugh from the line about brutal murder, though. Beats autoerotic asphyxiation, at least.

  • Shannon  
    July 17, 2009 at 8:03 AM

    Then I'm sure you appreciated Shaun of the Dead, right?

  • heisschic  
    July 17, 2009 at 10:13 AM

    one of the first times i met the now-bf, his brother brought up some story about zombie porn.

    somehow i dont think that would be an appropriate topic to search for at work... so i'll have to get back to you on the title.

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