Daily Chick Flick: Legally Blonde 2  

I don't consider it completely uncommon when a well-made, worthwhile sequel tickles our collective cinematic fancy. At least for me personally, such sequels as Terminator 2 and Aliens surpassed even my opinion of their predecessors. The reality of the situation is that a storyline will make a return appearance to the box office, planned trilogies and so on notwithstanding, only if it earns enough money the first go round. In many cases, the success of whatever pile of stinky nothing that follows is hinged on perceived brand loyalty and little else. As you already parted with $9 for the first one, it stands to reason you'll do so again. Because you're a complete idiot.

That's the best explanation that satisfies my yearning to know how someone could go see Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde. The only -- albeit major -- fault with this argument is you'd need to have liked the first one enough to wish it were an hour and a half longer. I'll admit to having seen the original (in theaters [on a date {sort of (yes I'm gay)}]), but even that couldn't prepare me for the atrocities that awaited me in round 2. I thought at first I could mitigate the pain by breezing through the movie at 1.5x speed, however, that was before taking into account Reese Witherspoon's already high-pitched voice. At 1.5x speed, the first 5 minutes of LB2 was akin to Alvin and the Chipmunks rapping like Busta Rhymes on speed. Virtually impossible to understand, absolutely impossible on the eardrums.

In lieu of summarizing or talking in any real detail about this film, well, there actually no "instead of," I'm just not doing it. Which you should thank me for.

As I pulled the obligatory IMDB link for this movie, I noticed that it had been rated 4.3 stars out 10. A rating that seems mighty generous. Compelled to discover who would give it a favorable review, I clicked through to discover that there were 8 PAGES of ratings categorized as "Loved It!" After reading the first two pages, I thought best to share a handful of the glowing quotes from these reviews, wishing all of you to join me in concluding that our society is completely hopeless. COMPLETELY:

I actually watched it a second time and laughed louder than the first. It is over the top, like a pink sickening sweet cookie with frosting and sprinkles over it...but it works!

A feel good film, with a cute storyline Definitely on a par with the first, although i think in some ways i prefer the second.More bruiser, and far, far, far more pink.The soundtrack also is excellent, and the costumes, even better.All over brilliant film.(I now have my own 11 week old chihuahua called bruiser):D:D:D

I have seen both the Legally Blonde movies and can't wait for the 3rd... [ed. note: What? Please God nooooooo!]

This movie is not at all cheesy or horrific or whatever terrible nagative other thing people have said about it.

America should be like this, with a French manicure, a big ol honest heart, and matching heels. Fry the critics and purists, wherever they may shout, Elle is back and as good as ever.

That last quote made me realize something; this movie and the people that adored it are exactly the reason that everyone hates America. Claim whatever geopolitical and financial indignation you may, but our over-glamorization of every vapid, hot blonde piece-of-ass dipshit is at the very core of the problem. 5 pink tacos, and God Bless Canada.

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