Staying Regular  

Years of blogging have taught me to keep relatively low expectations when it comes to the consistency and frequency of posting, both from myself and those that I am a devoted reader of. As usual, there are a few glaring exceptions. Yet the really consistent blogs come from people who do this shit for a living, so we can't count them any more than we would praise a high school dropout that manages to not get fired from Dairy Queen (because he needs the weed money).

My experiences with this are likely no different than that of the other unpaid bloggers out there, but I still can't help from laughing at what happens when some people haven't posted for a few days or even (Xenu help us!) AN ENTIRE WEEK. I'll affectionately refer to it as the "apology post," which can go in only one of two directions; the first and most obvious comes with an excuse, and is by far the most common for those who feel like they must be letting down their "fans." The second type of apology post is in actuality an anti-apology, wherein the blogger tosses together a confusing mix of apathy, melancholy, and bitter angst, which sounds something like this:

"I would normally apologize to all my readers out there for not posting this past week, but then I started thinking about it and was all like fuck that. I completely love you guys, don't get me wrong, it's just that lately I haven't been feeling this blog all that much, or reading anyone else's. However, as many times as I've thought about deleting it all, I know that I'll keep coming back because this is more than good fun for me -- it's an outlet, a window to my inner self that can only be opened as I see fit..."

It's right around this point in the anti-apology post that you'll either find me laughing or tightening an extension cord around my neck. That being said, and before you start piling through my archives in search of vindication, I will admit to being guilty of both such apology posts at some point in my feeble blogging career. I can assure you that the results were no less funny.

As much as I'm of the mindset that irregular posting helps to curb any expectations, I have recently introduced a subtle change to these pages. More of a self-imposed routine really. While the whole of my life remains completely unstructured, I have forced myself to claim one little patch of consistency by posting here at least 3 days a week -- ideally on M-W-F. In case you haven't noticed, I've already been doing this for the past two and half weeks. By my calculations that is approximately two and half weeks longer than I have ever done anything consistently in the past. Now keep in mind there will be the occasional vacation, or a month-long disappearance brought on by overdoses of a varying nature, but otherwise this schedule is set firmly in stone. Not that I actually carved it into somewhere, but at the very least it's now published online for all to see. Though I suppose I could delete this post any time I wanted to, but, well, you hopefully get my drift.

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15 Reasons to Live

  • The Polka Dotted Owl  
    April 8, 2009 at 1:42 PM

    bloggers get paid for this? sign me up for that one. someone has to pay me for reading your crap on mwf!!! ha ha ha got ya!

    funny you should write this post today, because i have just read about 4 post about "sorry about being a such a bad bloggie the last couple of days." perfect timing as always.

    i think i actually get smarter by reading your post. yeah i think i do.

  • shine (the artist formerly known as meshealle)  
    April 8, 2009 at 1:53 PM

    Still the smartest person I know? I think so...though I also think maybe you had some formatting issues up there. But it's probably me.

    I love the apology blogs. They crack me up. I don't think I've posted one yet. I can't imagine anyone is interested enough in what I have to say to be sad that I didn't post something for a week.

    Though I do find myself oddly irritated when I don't get a consistent dose of those blogs I like the best. I mean, c'mon, what else do you people have to do?!? Entertain me! Dance, monkey, dance!

  • Nicole  
    April 8, 2009 at 1:54 PM

    Sooo... What kind of apology was this?

    I used to use this fantastic scapegoat called 'The Blogging Wall' which I'd pull out every time I didn't post six times a day on my blog, but I've since banned myself from both.

    Anyways, this was a clever apology, so I'll let it slide. ;)

  • The Polka Dotted Owl  
    April 8, 2009 at 1:59 PM

    yes that was great thanks for that!!! i can not stop laughing. oh make it stop!!!!

  • Jay  
    April 8, 2009 at 2:01 PM

    Owly: At best this post only made you a little smarter, since it was idiotically cut off halfway through by improper tag placement. Boo me.

    Shiner: You've saved me yet again. It wasn't just formatting -- somehow half of a paragraph went missing on me.

    Yeah, the apology posts are a double-edged sword, because you want to claim them as worthless, but it becomes hard to articulate why they are any more/less worthwhile than a regular post.

    Nikki: This was not an apology post; I've been a machine the past couple of weeks! Take notice!

  • Meg Kathleen  
    April 8, 2009 at 2:58 PM

    I have been guilty of the apology post and then I realized I didn't care...

  • Diane  
    April 8, 2009 at 3:29 PM

    I'm more inclined to apologize for my lame posts than for the lack of them

  • Nicole  
    April 8, 2009 at 4:18 PM

    Nikki: This was not an apology post; I've been a machine the past couple of weeks! Take notice!

    Notice taken. Just goes to show how shockingly inept I am.

  • Juice  
    April 8, 2009 at 4:23 PM

    I've noticed. Well done Jay, keep up the fantastic work.

    #Attach dinosaur 'scatch & sniff' sticker here#

    ps. what is a dinosaur supposed to smell like anyway, coz i reckon those stickers aren't right.

  • Bananas  
    April 8, 2009 at 5:41 PM

    every time i set a schedule for myself I want to die. but good luck with that!

  • the projectivist  
    April 8, 2009 at 5:49 PM

    i think that Ryan should write an apology post.

    but let's discuss that poll over there. what on earth is going on with that? people are choosing flying over shapeshifting?!!
    what on earth?
    like we all wouldn't want to just shapeshift into Britney for just 5 minutes if we could.
    no, i'd rather be able to fly up to Woolworths and pick up a carton of milk and a loaf of bread.

    come on!!

  • Jesslyn  
    April 9, 2009 at 10:10 AM

    I always get great ideas for blogging, then never blog.
    Effort...UGH!!

  • Ryan  
    April 9, 2009 at 11:44 AM

    I wish I had read this before hitting publish today.

  • Chris  
    April 9, 2009 at 11:59 AM

    Once again I'm one of thirty juvenile delinquents in a classroom and the teacher is talking only to me.

  • Kelly  
    April 9, 2009 at 12:03 PM

    Is this because I didn't post yesterday? I'm so sorry!

    HAHAHAHAHA! At least I entertain myself!

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