All Hail The Breakfast Stack  

This past weekend was spent with my best friend McLean, on a bromantic getaway to the Oregon Coast. With a beach side cabin and pocketfuls of beer money at our disposal, we had positioned ourselves in such a way that good times were inevitable. And so they were. From a several hour jaunt hiking and climbing through the damp coastal rainforest, to receiving complimentary drinks from 50+ year old townies, it was everything I had hoped for and then some.

As the predetermined goal for the weekend was a calculated exploration of the excessive, it only makes sense that our dining habits were so aligned as well. There was the good (chicken gizzards and jalapeno potato buddies from the diviest of dive bars in the State Capital), the bad (me throwing up sauerkraut through my nose at 2am on the windiest beach known to man), and then the downright amazing... which will henceforth be known as The Breakfast Stack.

It all started with an idea; to concoct an assemblage of classical breakfast foods the likes of which have never been seen. Essentially the perfect hangover meal. Did we do it? Judge for yourselves:


What you're looking at is the bastard child of a quiche and the plate scrapings from every customer at Denny's. Here's a cut view, labeled for your convenience:


As you can imagine, I was quite anxious to tear into something bursting at the seams with so much awesome:


Yet we couldn't help feel that something was missing. Then, like the heart attack that was sure to follow our consumption of this culinary Goliath, inspiration suddenly struck:


Just imagine how lonely that pancake would have been in our stomachs without its buddy maple syrup (butter flavored of course). We were now officially ready, with McLean doing the honors:


So excited he was for The Breakfast Stack that the camera couldn't even capture his movements they were so fast. Next up, yours truly:


What else can I say? It was unparalleled explosion of flavor in my mouth; like my taste buds had just been tag-teamed by Jimmy Dean and Aunt Jemima. With each bite came a sense of accomplishment, so much so that there was a requisite rest period before attempting the next. When it was all said and done, McLean and I conquered The Breakfast Stack... mostly, but also knowing that it is destined to be reborn another time, another place, for the collective benefit of mankind's throbbing hangover.


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