December 29th? Really??  

Usually when I let this amount of time escape me, there is a much larger quantity of opiates involved. Despite being utterly wrapped up in the spirit of giving this holiday season, I somehow neglected to give to those that need it the most -- you, my readers. No amount of helping the helpless or homing the homeless should ever take precedent over filling these pages with dick jokes, and for that I'm sorry. I have promptly canceled all my plans this morning, including that silly "bone marrow donation" thing, to ensure a few paragraphs of hot sticky blogness get published right away.

I imagine that many will have a post-Christmas wrap-up going on today, with loads of merriment, pictures, observations, and memories in waiting. This is something I could do as well, but I'm not sure anything I have to offer would compare with most of you. While the holidays are no small affair as far as Christie's family is concerned, the "2008 Mega-Arctic Cockpunching Winter Blast Storm" kept a fair amount of them away, making for a mostly peaceful Christmas. I suppose in one respect I am thankful for that, though I admittedly relish being in a place of chaos without any expectation of being directly involved in it. Some of us are just better suited for standing up against the wall, drink(s) in hand.

Getting back to work today is at best a hot mess. Between Christmas and the cockpunching storm, I have been at the office only 2 of the last 7 weekdays. That number might have been a little higher if the Seattle bus system was much more than a fleet of gigantic quivering vaginas on wheels, whose "adverse weather plan" essentially involved slashing service by 75% and sacrificing virgins to the Sun God. It's not even that I have a ton of work to catch up on (I do), in reality it's an issue with mindset. The majority of us working types that aren't either married to our jobs or doing that which we love most in the world tend to forget we are gainfully employed after anything longer than 3 days away from said employment. This makes returning to work an uphill battle against detachment, requiring a level of reintroduction into the pack not unlike what you'd expect from an orphaned condor or beached whale.

The end of the year is inching closer, and possibly more important is the end of the month as well. Important for me at least, because a handful of you officially sealed my fate for January's challenge, wherein I will be posting a daily photo. At the inception of this idea I had been kicking around a theme for these photos, but in the end concluded that keeping it simple will help in keeping it successful. The only conditions being imposed on the process are as follows:
  1. Photo must have been taken the day before or day of it's posting.
  2. Photo must have been taken by and/or include myself.
It was struggle to leave out all references to artistic nudity in these conditions, but in the end I think it's for the best. At least this way it stays on the table as an option for me, and you guys can't be 100% certain I won't introduce you to the only possible artistic representation of goatse (hint: it involves a bushel of carrots).

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