SEO Has No Place Here  

Is it possible that the Internet knows me a little better than I actually know myself? I suppose it's equally possible that I have yet to fully grasp the subtleties of search engine functionality, but somewhere along the way I did fall under the impression that to be searchable by a certain term or phrase, it would in fact need to be located in my blog somewhere. There are plenty of queries that guided people here in good sense, such as:
  • "Hairy pumpkins"
  • "God of beards"
  • "Unspoken laws of life"
  • "Clay Aiken"
However, hanging around the bottom of the list are some things that I can't decide if I'd rather be proud of, or bury my head in shame for:
  • "Use it if you got it"
  • "Face raping"
  • "Edward Penishands"
  • "Candy-ass Jew"
  • "Peanut butter nipples"
What I find especially strange is that when I plug these phrases into Google (both with and without the quotes), I don't see Genius Pending anywhere. Is it possible that people are getting linked here from a faulty search engine in Bratislava? Or am I just buried in page 387 of the results, and someone is actually that desperate to learn about face raping? Whatever the case may be, I think it's safe to say that I should stop trying to check what I say since the Internet as a whole is obviously not listening.

Stay tuned for tomorrow's post, "Care Bear Sodomy and Setting the Elderly on Fire."

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