Life in the Fast Lane  

**Disclaimer - As horrible as it is, I couldn't help myself from using that title **

Call me an idiot, but I have taken to a health-focused experiment wherein a weekly fast is integrated (seriously, call me an idiot) into the overall plan for better living through diet and exercise. The plan is simple enough to understand, even for someone whose blood sugar is dangerously low; have a light dinner on Sunday, don't eat again until another light dinner on Monday. The hopeful effects will be of a restorative, cleansing nature, and might just leave me with a greater appreciation for the food I so carelessly shovel down my throat without a second thought. Given that today only constitutes fast #2, it could be a while before I have any definitive results to report.

I do, however, have a few observations already. The first being the most obvious, as it's largely rooted in perspective. Somehow I failed to notice previously that Monday is the day when everyone brings my favorite foods for lunch and heats them up in the microwave, sending a gale force of smell goods my way. By no coincidence either does Monday happen to be when people are at their most generous, lining the kitchen with free Krispy Kremes and Double Stuft Oreos.

Another keen observation is that my pool of standards seems to get exceedingly shallow with each passing moment. For example, a co-worker graciously gifted me with a bag of farm fresh Walla Walla sweet onions as a thank you for covering her recent out of office time. Now don't get me wrong; I like onions in general, but today is the first time I've ever had a clearly enjoyable fantasy of tearing into one like an apple. I finally taped the bag shut, though to little avail. The smell is still overwhelming enough to have me convinced without a doubt that I could eat 12 of them bloomin' onion style while freebasing ranch dressing. If only such a place of wonder existed.

Did I mention that my wife has been kind enough to walk this road of deprivation with me? I think she may have made the decision prior to realizing the significance of adding more crap on top of Mondays, or that coffee creamer is excluded from the list of allowable beverages. Nonetheless, I'm thankful to have someone to share this with.

My final thought is a bit difficult to describe, as I'm at the point in the day where I find myself stuck in limbo between wanting to eat my own foot and being altogether indifferent towards the existence of food. It's funny how quickly the body adapts. Last week when dinner finally came, I was more than ready for it, but knew that I could have held out much longer if need be. This is interesting, because so often when I haven't eaten for a couple of hours and then have a snack, I'm thoroughly convinced that I couldn't have waited another second for it. No doubt this is easily explained by some mechanism of the body/mind connection, it's just peculiar to experience it in this outward kind of way.

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